The Invisible Woman on a Weekend Getaway

My good friend Ellen sent me this marvelous article called "The Invisible Woman." She ought to know. Hers is a familiar story at an older age than most of us. She spent the adult years of her life in a good job with pretty clothes and the respect of respectable society. Not that her life was easy by any means. Only that she wasn't married-with-children until age 35. And then, in the space of 5 years she was married with THREE little blessings. God be praised as He gave her the desire of her heart. So it is with most of us women. We spend all of our years leading up to married-with-children dreaming of being in that blissful state, ignorant that to be so blessed also means invisibility. And so we are unprepared when, as another good friend put it, "our lives close in around us."

The article can be found at: www.parenthood.com/articles.html?article_id=10240

My life closed in around me completely by the time we got to Alaska. By then we had two toddlers and were contemplating the most homebound task imaginable: homeschooling. There were weeks in the ubiquitous Alaska winters (can I even remember a summer there?) where I left the house exactly once per week--to go to church. I was invisible to all save those perceptive souls who sought me out--probably because the Holy Spirit wouldn't leave me alone until they did--Betty, Bern, Brandie, Beth...Ellen.

These days I've become almost comfortable in my invisibility. Chalk it up to five years of homeschooling. Living in a small town. Being the one left behind when Brian goes TDY (fighter pilot's version of a business trip) like a rock star. Don't feel sorry for me. I've never been one to be bored by being alone. There are moments when being invisible hurts--like when Brandt drew the picture of the people he loved and said, "Mom, did you notice that you're not on it?" He was five. Seth will be five this week and just said to me, "Mom, I love you THIS much but I love Dad THIIIIIIISSSS much." The finer points of having boys...

So what is an invisible woman to do when she's faced with the prospect of a weekend getaway with her husband (besides let out an enormous whoop and pull out that dusty book?) It's not just any weekend getaway either. It's actually a TDY to a whopping metropolis where Brian and his buddies will perform two flybys--one at an NFL game. In the past these guys have been treated like rock stars on such TDYs. In some ways I was a little envious but now that the coveted opportunity to fly the coop presents itself, I wonder that I want to remain invisible.

Here are the reasons I should not go:
1. When I'm not at home, I'm not doing my job. Brian pulled that one out of his repertoire a few years ago and I was livid at the time. But now that I've had a few years between my anger and my reason, he's right. It's my Deuteronomy 6 responsibility to teach, train, love, and disciple my own children. If I'm not at home with them or they're not at home with me, other people will fill the void I've created.
2. I look at my invisible woman's closet and see nothing that remotely resembles rock star gear. The last miniskirt was given away when I realized I had more children than legs.
3. I see myself eating at restaurants where I consume a child's pair of shoes or a daughter's needed dress in four or five mouthfuls. When going TDY, penurious scrimping on meals is not respectable.
4. I could get used to sleeping in 'til 8.
5. It has been at least ten years since I navigated myself around a big city. And even then, it wasn't pretty. All my "survival skills" were more the work of unseen angels.

Here are the reasons I am going:
1. My mom and Nana are incredibly capable women who will do a praiseworthy job of looking after the children for the allotted days.
2. There is more to me than the miniskirt I gave away.
3. My husband INVITED me to go. MasterCard is right in one way: there are some things money can't buy.